Hello and welcome to Psych Central! I can tell you from experience that accepting that a mom can never truly be the mom she needs to be is very hard. Perhaps as you stay in therapy, you will eventually be able to accept that and deal with your anger.

Just try to keep in mind you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and your current and future children. I found the book Toxic Parents to be helpful in coming to terms with matters.

You might not really be ever able to reason with your mother. It sounds like she lives in the state of denial