I know this is a common theme so many of you will understand. I feel really alone. I have social anxiety so I don't have a lot if friends. The few that I do have are on a pretty superficial level because I having trouble being intimate with people.

But when this depression really hit I felt alone any wanted to feel like someone cared. In the past I would have relied on my t but she had started to shut me out. So I did something huge for me and emailed my mom telling her I was really depressed and couldn't get out if bed. She emailed back saying "try to do something" and I have 't heard from her since. That was 3 weeks ago. She has 't asked how I am or anything.

I also reached out to a friend and she hasn't been there either.

Obviously how my mom is is the reason I have trouble getting close to people.

The problem is when I am not so depressed I don't want to be around people. And when I am depressed I don't want a real friendship. I am needy and want someone to swoop in an take care of me. That's not going to happen.

It is hard.