You keep going on. Spring you will be living with family again. It seems far away but it's not. If you killed yourself, I could not be strong for mychildren. You are. my strength. You are very loved and all we want is you to live here with us. You won't be alone. And your mental state will greatly improve. It's hard right now, ony a few months til you can be here. It would destroy me and the girls. I would go back to shooting up meth everyday if you killed yourself! I'd need to block the pain somehow! Then what would the kids do? Loose papa and mom and grandma all in one year!!