I find, often times, the words 'I'm sorry", lose meaning. Sometimes, it's an overused expression.

Sure, people can not repeat a specific behavior, but coming from someone who can identify with your husbands sentiment of not wanting to hear "I'm sorry," it much more than just not repeating the specific behavior, it's about an overhaul of approach towards life, the relationship, others, etc.

Are you currently in counseling? And if so, what else, are you doing, above and beyond therapy sessions, to get to the heart of what's bringing about these ups and downs and what changes are you trying to overcome what's causing struggles in your marriage?

Step 4, of any 12 step, is a good start, at looking at how to have an approach towards personal responsibility.

Not sure, specifically, what's going on in your marriage, per se. And I could be way off.

I just know, that I'm a hard one, to apologize to. Not that I won't accept sorry talk, but there are times, with most everyone in my life, at this stage in my life, where I will blurt out, 'no need to apologize' pertaining to matters that I just don't feel an I'm sorry is called for. Because, I prefer the sorry talk to be for matters that matter.