I see lots of other clients in the clinic waiting room. Most of them are not there to see my T. Last week, a professional looking man showed up for what appeared to be the first time. (He asked where to wait.)

He looked SO uncomfortable and out of place. I wondered what brought him there. His outfit was quite nice and he was super well groomed -- he looked like upper level management at a corporation or a law firm partner. Someone used to being in control.

I wanted to reach out to him and tell him that it's all going to be ok. haha. But I was wearing jeans and hot pink sneakers (despite being a corporate professional myself) and had frizzy hair and I realized that my appearance probably made him feel superior or even more out of place.

Because my job sometimes requires me to have professional hair and makeup done, I showed up one time looking *really* put together -- expensive outfit, sleek hair, professional makeup. I had to because the appointment was mid-day and I didn't have time to go home and change into jeans or a spring dress and wash my face.

My T came into the waiting room and I started to stand up to join her but she held up one finger as if to say, "One second." I realized that she was not alone but was with her last client, and that client had a scheduling and billing issue that they were taking care of in the waiting room. (Why they didn't do this in private, I have no idea.)

The other woman looked at me and I could tell that the sight of ME made HER uncomfortable. She looked just normal, was a bit overweight and dressed casually.

I saw myself through HER eyes and I wanted to confess to her, "I am wearing a mask right now, literally and figuratively, I look like I have it way more together than I really do. I am suicidal half the time."

Anyway, we never really know what's going on with people. It's hard to tell anything based on how they might look at a given moment.

I am fascinated by the other clients though.