The next client...

Thanks Nerak. I am seeing her on Thursday and think i'll just see how it goes. i am trying not to use it as an excuse to 'allow' my ED behaviours to get worse/more active.
Urgh.

Nope, I never see other clients in the entire building, apart from one girl leaving once (don't know who she was there to see, we just smiled briefly at each other) which is a bit strange really. Wouldn't mind if I did, I'd probably wonder idly about their story and what was going on for them.

My T's practice is not posh at all....in fact I think the lower socioeconomic group is referred to that group. Not an issue. So the office is usually packed. I never know who will see her, although some of Ts pts show up an hour earlier. Last week I noticed a guy drinking a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi...for some reason I thought this was odd (I know, I am odd). So when I came out, I spoke w/ receptionist about another appt, and T came out to get the 2 liter Pepsi guy. I just wondered how she connects w/ this man..or if this man has a crush on her? I know I am sounding judgementmental, but the thing which got my attention the MOST was the 2 liter of Pepsi.

My T works with other Ts in a group counseling center. There are about 10 Ts total, with 3-5 of them working at the same time. I see clients of the other Ts, and I see my T's clients before me and after me. It truly does not bother me. I'm a curious person by nature; so, I find it interesting to see the "others." We all seem so very different. I'd love to be a fly on T's wall to see how she interacts with others. It's interesting to see how the clients before might be, say, a married couple in their 40s. Then, after me, T may see a teenager. Most of the time, nothing unusual happens, but I have seen people crying or very angry (married couple).

I do not see anyone before me but they are sitting in the small waiting room right outside the door and I have to walk past them. There has been many times I have come out distraught and crying and it really embarrasses me when they look at me go by.

I see lots of other clients in the clinic waiting room. Most of them are not there to see my T. Last week, a professional looking man showed up for what appeared to be the first time. (He asked where to wait.)

He looked SO uncomfortable and out of place. I wondered what brought him there. His outfit was quite nice and he was super well groomed -- he looked like upper level management at a corporation or a law firm partner. Someone used to being in control.

I wanted to reach out to him and tell him that it's all going to be ok. haha. But I was wearing jeans and hot pink sneakers (despite being a corporate professional myself) and had frizzy hair and I realized that my appearance probably made him feel superior or even more out of place.

Because my job sometimes requires me to have professional hair and makeup done, I showed up one time looking *really* put together -- expensive outfit, sleek hair, professional makeup. I had to because the appointment was mid-day and I didn't have time to go home and change into jeans or a spring dress and wash my face.

My T came into the waiting room and I started to stand up to join her but she held up one finger as if to say, "One second." I realized that she was not alone but was with her last client, and that client had a scheduling and billing issue that they were taking care of in the waiting room. (Why they didn't do this in private, I have no idea.)

The other woman looked at me and I could tell that the sight of ME made HER uncomfortable. She looked just normal, was a bit overweight and dressed casually.

I saw myself through HER eyes and I wanted to confess to her, "I am wearing a mask right now, literally and figuratively, I look like I have it way more together than I really do. I am suicidal half the time."

Anyway, we never really know what's going on with people. It's hard to tell anything based on how they might look at a given moment.

I am fascinated by the other clients though.