Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Do you have meetups in your area? It's meetup.com (or meetups.com). Are you in therapy? It might be good to talk about how this relationship did or didn't meet your expectations, and what to look out for next time. Remaining friendly with your ex - I can see how you would want that to happen, but I don't see how that's a reasonable expectation of this person and what he wants from his life. He may be unreasonable by your standards, but he is reasonable by his own standards. I've just recently come to realize how my standards never matched my parents', and neither side was willing to bend. So we were both disappointed.
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Very good point. I don't think he values the people in his romantic relationships once the relationships are over. He probably feels this is awkward and has enough family/friends to keep him occupied. I'm the opposite and still have good friendships with two significant ex-boyfriends and with men with whom I've had more casual dating relationships. So as not to make their significant others feel strange, I usually am friendly with them as well (and sometimes even after the two of them break up). My position is that the caring doesn't go away becasue the nature of the relationship changes. But, I do realize this may not be typical and will have to respect this. Thanks!