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Originally Posted by Onward2wards
I'm very pleased with how self-help efforts and therapy have uncovered my negative core beliefs/schemas, where they come from and which self-defeating behaviors stem from them. I am able to recognize much better now when they are active, and I am able to challenge them.
The one major problem I still have is the self-defeating behaviors seem to have a mind of their own - I can understand all this on a thinking level, but I still struggle on a feeling/doing level. One very negative social experience on a stressful day, for example, and I can feel myself slouching over and acting the part of a mortified, angsty teenager within minutes. This learned response sends some kind of feedback to my thinking brain and I start to re-experience exaggerated negative thoughts. I can then challenge them fairly well, but the "whole body" feeling of defeat and anxiety still persists - then I "feel depressed" again.
How do you overcome this kind of behavioral response and create the ones you want? It's really annoying how persistent it is.
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The thing that seems to work for me is to talk about it to a professional. The thing about talk therapy is that it creates new pathways in the brain, when we repeatedly challenge our thinking in dialogue with somebody who listens and engages with us without judging, but also without accepting everything we say (because then the old pathways would be reinforced).
Another thing that works for me is to simply avoid social situations, but that's not necessarily something I recommend to others. It's a very personal thing, whether avoiding other people is beneficial or not.