anna_goth27,
It is very clear that U R hurting extremely badly. I am so sorry for this. I hope U have a good psych doc,& R in psychotherapy. If U R comfortable sharing,what mental health issue R U dealing with? I deal w/ Major Depression,Anxiety,& Borderline Personality Traits. When I am mod-sev depressed,I don't tend to see issues clearly or interpret signals from other people well.

Also,I know it feels more comfortable to isolate. It is easier to withdraw & avoid
dealing w/ people that you feel hurt you & that you feel that you constantly hurt
or disappoint. I would encourage you to reach out to professionals that under-
stand what U R going through & places like this where people care & understand
what you're going through. Avoid people,or sharing w/ people who R not suppor-
tive of U.