What happens when a psychiatrist and a hooker spend the night together? In the morning each of them says: "120 dollars, please."

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.. He said, "No hablo ingles." (Ronnie Shakes)

I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy " I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, ‘Okay, you're ugly too!" (Rodney Dangerfield)