I'm not sure where to go from here. I find that I really don't think I'm good enough for anyone in the world and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I have been in a self destructive path that has gone so far as to let everything I own in storage to go to auction and lose it even though I could have gotten it paid for. I am on the verge of my ex taking visitation of my youngest son and when that happens I will truly have nothing. This has been going on for years, I have lost so much and almost all of it was self inflicted. I can see now I was just waiting to have nothing so I could have an out and I am one step away from being there. I am normally very logical, I can see the path I am following and have had a million side paths I could take but I keep going in the same direction. I know I need help, I just haven't been able/ willing to do so. I can look back over the past decade and see my path, see how destructive and stressful it has been and yet I keep following it. I wish I was a better/ stronger person I am just not.