I don't know if it's counted as a break up. It was never official, and we broke up last year. But it became an on-off thing and we could never make up our minds (he even found someone else along the way and said we should be friends again and again), i tried to avoid him and all he ever did was get angry at me for doing so. Eventually he became nicer, and I tried to be civil. Now we don't get to see each other again because we're not attending the same school anymore, both of us graduated, he's going overseas. And i took this oppurtunity to cut him off once and for all.

There are still residual feelings I'm trying to get rid of. He's never going to make up his mind. I don't want him on my life. I don't care what his friends or family thinks. And yes, I think I'm having depression....but I don't think I can get my parents to bring me anywhere for therapy or check-up. I don't even know if I'm depressed. But I guess seeing anything that reminds me of him making me want to wrench my heart out and smash it open is kinda depressing. What if I'm just lazy? That's what people around me would probably say. Or sick. I'd love to think I'm depressed. Because if this is normal, life isn't worth living..

Sorry for the lengthy post. Thank you for your reply...