Did anyone else really have the experience growing up where you just weren't allowed to be sick?

It was really only acceptable to be sick if we were throwing up. I used to get frequent ear infections - the doctor just gave mom the prescription for me without having me come in. They never knew what it actually was, they just randomly gave me ear drops and as I didn't go in very often, who was to know if it was the same thing or not each time anyway?

And when we were sick enough and asked to go to the doctor... we'd get the "you'd better still be ***king sick when we get in there!!" because by the time she'd finally agree and take us.... well, it was usually when we were on the mend already.

And stuff like check-ups? Yeah, right. What are those? I had to fight for months when I was 11 to get an appointment for the dentist.

As an adult....I typically only go to the doctor if I think I have something like strep throat. That one I've got before enough times that in I go as soon as it happens. I also don't typically have medications of any kind in my flat.

So this year? Months after starting mood stabilizers... I've been dealing with random stomach issues. And had a biopsy for cysts on my cervix (going for a pap each year IS something I do).

Since all of this:
- I wasn't notified of the abnormal pap result
- I was out of town when I was apparently supposed to be at a colposcopy appointment - which I was not expected to be notified of as I hadn't known, 6 months later, that I'd had an abnormal result!
- the GP who did the pap did not ever bring the results up even though I saw her twice after it
- the psychiatrist did not show up for the second appointment I was supposed to have with him
- just had a GP appointment get cancelled

That all stresses me out. Like a lot.

A friend basically dragged me to the ER two weeks ago because of the same stomach issue I've been having lately - it comes and goes at random but it pretty much knock me flat when it strikes. The ER doctor gave me a presctiption and siad it's my stomach and not a bladder infection - I could have told him that too.

I listened to the pharmacist and mad an appointment with a GP (not the one I'd been to previously) so I went and she sent me to get blood tests (which also scared the hell out of me). It was the appointment that was to go over the results of the blood tests (and I was going to see about getting them to find me the results of the biopsy because those SHOULD be in by now) ... and it was cancelled.

After calling to reschedule.. they weren't going to put me in until Dec 23 and I nearly had a meltdown - I'll be out of the meds that the ER doctor gave me and it shouldn't take me nearly 2 months to know the results of a biopsy.

I ended up calling back later that night to see about getting an earlier one - I don't think the nurse listened to me when I said I didn't care who the appointment was with.

I've been nearly having a meltdown all day. I can't get much work at all done because it just freaks me right out.

I don't even know why I'm writing this here. I'm just overwhelmingly scared and stressed out and that's only got a little bit to do with the results or causes. It's just having to keep dealing with appointments that is causing me to flip out. It doesn't make sense to be having such a hard time just making and going to appointments.

Sorry for the rant really.... I just feel like it fits here a bit more because I know it's because I just wasn't allowed to ever really be "sick enough" to need the doctor.. so now that I'm having to miss work quite a bit and keep getting the run around at the hospital... it makes me feel like I'm making things up.