Issues with going to Doctor Appointments and whatnot. Mostly a scared rant.

Did anyone else really have the experience growing up where you just weren't allowed to be sick?

It was really only acceptable to be sick if we were throwing up. I used to get frequent ear infections - the doctor just gave mom the prescription for me without having me come in. They never knew what it actually was, they just randomly gave me ear drops and as I didn't go in very often, who was to know if it was the same thing or not each time anyway?

And when we were sick enough and asked to go to the doctor... we'd get the "you'd better still be ***king sick when we get in there!!" because by the time she'd finally agree and take us.... well, it was usually when we were on the mend already.

And stuff like check-ups? Yeah, right. What are those? I had to fight for months when I was 11 to get an appointment for the dentist.

As an adult....I typically only go to the doctor if I think I have something like strep throat. That one I've got before enough times that in I go as soon as it happens. I also don't typically have medications of any kind in my flat.

So this year? Months after starting mood stabilizers... I've been dealing with random stomach issues. And had a biopsy for cysts on my cervix (going for a pap each year IS something I do).

Since all of this:
- I wasn't notified of the abnormal pap result
- I was out of town when I was apparently supposed to be at a colposcopy appointment - which I was not expected to be notified of as I hadn't known, 6 months later, that I'd had an abnormal result!
- the GP who did the pap did not ever bring the results up even though I saw her twice after it
- the psychiatrist did not show up for the second appointment I was supposed to have with him
- just had a GP appointment get cancelled

That all stresses me out. Like a lot.

A friend basically dragged me to the ER two weeks ago because of the same stomach issue I've been having lately - it comes and goes at random but it pretty much knock me flat when it strikes. The ER doctor gave me a presctiption and siad it's my stomach and not a bladder infection - I could have told him that too.

I listened to the pharmacist and mad an appointment with a GP (not the one I'd been to previously) so I went and she sent me to get blood tests (which also scared the hell out of me). It was the appointment that was to go over the results of the blood tests (and I was going to see about getting them to find me the results of the biopsy because those SHOULD be in by now) ... and it was cancelled.

After calling to reschedule.. they weren't going to put me in until Dec 23 and I nearly had a meltdown - I'll be out of the meds that the ER doctor gave me and it shouldn't take me nearly 2 months to know the results of a biopsy.

I ended up calling back later that night to see about getting an earlier one - I don't think the nurse listened to me when I said I didn't care who the appointment was with.

I've been nearly having a meltdown all day. I can't get much work at all done because it just freaks me right out.

I don't even know why I'm writing this here. I'm just overwhelmingly scared and stressed out and that's only got a little bit to do with the results or causes. It's just having to keep dealing with appointments that is causing me to flip out. It doesn't make sense to be having such a hard time just making and going to appointments.

Sorry for the rant really.... I just feel like it fits here a bit more because I know it's because I just wasn't allowed to ever really be "sick enough" to need the doctor.. so now that I'm having to miss work quite a bit and keep getting the run around at the hospital... it makes me feel like I'm making things up.

I'm sorry that you are having such a hassle getting medical appointments and information. You are NOT making this up. You know how you're feeling, physically and emotionally, and just because someone else tries to invalidate it, doesn't mean that it's not real.

I had to go through a lot of tests and appointments for nearly three years before I got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. One thing I did, because I couldn't handle the PTSD symptoms that got triggered by a lot of this, is I started telling the docs and/or technicians that I had PTSD. I told them what my limits were, and how I wanted to be treated by them. I didn't go into any details, but I was assertive, and if I cried while talking to them, it just made them more likely to accomodate me. I don't know if you are able to assert yourself in this way, but I can tell you that it helped me a lot. Having PTSD doesn't mean that we are defective or shameful. It means that we need to approach some things with a bit more thought and self-care.

I'm not saying what you should do, but I will give you an example of what I might do. I would call for the appointment, and if they tried to make me wait too long, I would tell them that I'd already waited since x-date, and that I have PTSD and was feeling extremely anxious about having to wait even longer. I would ask if they could do anything for me so that I didn't have to go through such emotional distress. I would say all of this without being angry, but just being up-front about what I was dealing with. If I started to cry, I would say something like, "I'm sorry, but with the PTSD and stress I can't quite control the tears. This is extremely difficult for me, but I'm trying to take care of myself by letting you know what I need. Is there anything you can do to help me out with this? I understand if you can't give me an answer right at this moment, but I need to hear from you within the next two days." I would give them a time to call me that I could set aside to be available for the call. And if they didn't call, I'd call them. I would ask for their name and which number I should use to be able to contact them directly. And I'd have a small notebook with a pen attached to it, just for these kinds of conversations.

By staying calm (by which I mean don't go off on an angry rant toward them) I am usually able to get people to soften a little, and to want to help me.

I really hope you can get what you need. Feel free to message me if you need to. I care. Hugs to you.

I am soo sorry you are having such a horrid time hun. Hugs

I can completely understand this feeling of melting down over things that usually would be fairly simple for me to do.I wonder if it is a symptom of when the ptsd is becoming more difficult for me....I certainly notice this anyway. I had to make a few appointments with a govt dept here and kept being messed around, now normally I am quite assertive in these instances and can effectively have my needs met in a business sense........not this time, I found myself totally unable to control my tears and just felt completely over overwhelmed. The poor lady at the counter could see me about to loose it, big tears dropping down my face and she immediately got a colleague to see me...ended up getting everything that I needed sorted out immediately. I was mortified though!

When i have these days, all i want is to shrivel up....or kill someone! I do try to breathe through it if I can.

I hope you can get your results asap! I would call and gently explain just how stressed it is making you and ask them to sort it NOW! .....please

(((((Red Panda)))))

I get it changed...

to next Friday. So only two days later than planned. With another new doctor. I hope this one at least will understand what lamotrigine is - I had to re-explain it three times when I was in the ER which felt humiliating.

A friend of mine had an appointment for this week and it got cancelled as well - and she was offered days for next week. So knowing that, I called back to just make an appointment and told them I didn't care who it was with - again. I was absolutely terrified and got off the phone and felt like I was going to throw up. Instead I cried, and text a friend to say that I did it.

She then said that my T should be helping me with this (she used to work with him) and I told her how last time I saw him, he said that I'd be on probation if I worked at his job with how much time I've had off. He meant it as a joke, but my friend was I think a bit mad and she actually called his boss because that's her best friend. She didn't use any names, but when she told me that I almost had a total meltdown. But she reasserted that it's the sort of thing he actually should be helping with.

Like... asking for help is just really hard. I don't really know how to do it. And being assertive? OMG. I just can't get through it easily. I know that I have to right now, because my phyiscal health is clearly going out the window this year... but it's so scary. And just GOING to the hospital is scary for me.

((Also - not diagnosed with PTSD. My T's the one who informed me that yes, I've experienced trauma.... which I sorta find hard to accept anyway, but he said he didn't think I have PTSD as I'd agree as I don't have flashbacks.... but this forum seems to be the one where this fits the most and I'm comfortable in here))

((Also - not diagnosed with PTSD. My T's the one who informed me that yes, I've experienced trauma.... which I sorta find hard to accept anyway, but he said he didn't think I have PTSD as I'd agree as I don't have flashbacks.... but this forum seems to be the one where this fits the most and I'm comfortable in here))[/quote]

That makes sense. Glad you're here.

Well - still stressing out about this stuff. To the point that I keep thinking that I will go and see my T on Monday and inform him that I am going to come off the meds because I can't handle the idea of having to take more time off to eventually see a pdoc and that going to appointments with him after work is just stressing me out because it is TOO MANY APPOINTMENTS.

I probably won't say anything, but it's been in my head consistently.