Most of us are capable of doing a lot of things giving the right context.

When you say, "I know I would never do anything like that," are you certain you wouldn't because you are so highly moral a person? so kind that others always come first? you would be too afraid of getting caught and punished? You would be too ashamed afterward to show your face?

There are things I wouldn't do (like berate my boss in public) because of the price I'd pay for doing it. Thoughts of what I might say or do to the boss might eventually obsess me, especially is she has pretty much total control over my life and I'm feeling helpless. It would be an unhealthy.

If you're having thoughts of sending inappropriate messages to friends, consider the context. Would you want to send them if you could do so anonymously? Is there any basis to these thoughts, and you judge them "wrong?" For example, if your best friend would die for you but is always asking you to shop for her, run errands, do things--you might feel that she takes advantage, even though she'd do anything for you ... but you'd never ask her to do much.

Is this making any sense? I think you need to find a pro bono therapist, because I suspect it's a very complicated situation.

Be good to yourself.
Roadie