So, to make a long story short, there was a guy I went on a date with a little while ago (at least I thought it was a date…I don't know anything about this stuff) that we both enjoyed and agreed to do something like that again…well we haven't. I was texting him, but I realized that he would never communicate with me unless I talked to him first. We wouldn't have even gone on the date (or whatever it was) if I hadn't asked, suggested what we would do, etc. it wouldn't have happened. I'm actually quite surprised that it DID happen. I mean, him showing up meant something, right?

Anyway, so at some point, I sort of got disheartened by always having to text him and half the time him not responding anyway so I sort of stopped texting him…I feel like I really messed up, but being the one who always initiated everything was really making my anxiety act up. But I just want to talk about it and we both seem to communicate best in person…but how do I start a conversation like that?

I'm well aware that I'm not "owed" an explanation and if he doesn't want to talk to me, fair enough. But for once in my life, I want to try and not run away. Especially because I actually feel safe around him (never thought I would feel safe around a guy without other people around) and I didn't feel anxious except for the first 15 minutes or so of the "date" (or whatever). Which is amazing since I haven't known him for that long.

You're probably thinking, if he never contacted you again, he's obviously not interested! Well, that's possible but it's also possible he struggles with anxiety himself and maybe he doesn't feel comfortable taking the lead at all. It's also possible that I may have said something about me that was negative or implied something bad about myself and didn't fully explain because I caught myself talking about it in the middle of talking about it. I'm just used to being around people that I can be completely open and honest with I guess. I should have known better, but of course I didn't.

So, how do I start a conversation like that without being confrontational? I know the whole "we need to talk" thing is the worst possible way to start a conversation…I just don't know how else to do it. The next time I'll see him in person will be at a rehearsal and of course I can't talk to him during the rehearsal, especially since we really shouldn't be in a room full of people to talk…so what do I say? Do I ask him to talk to me afterwards before time via text or do I ask that day?