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I asked myself what she would tell me to do if I could tell her.
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Thanks Growlithing - I do this for the things we discussed and processed and you are right, it helps.. in this situation it wasn't helpful in the immediate moments but it was a bit later, which is good. Can't wait to process it (I had nightmares about my ptsd tonight, hhhhh! I hate it) and get some more tools to prevent damaging myself.
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when I worked in Italy the work environment was a bit different- I did endure some talks about my personal life (as was the common practice and I dealt with it by creating a fiancé at home waiting for me to get married  ), literal patting on backs, hands resting on shoulders when in convo... from my superiors (male and female alike) but NEVER hugging.
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That's where I'm from.. still, I've never experienced such a boundary violation before - I mean the hugs from my thread - even in this country (plus I live in the extreme north which is usually more sober). I did get occasionally touched on my shoulder in past jobs and we do tolerate it (well, usually) but I made some clearness and came to the conclusion hugs are under no circumstances admitted after wondering if I was being a wimp about it. I can't get used to it cause it was just too intimate, I don't even wanna hugh a friend of mine that way.
I think I'll want to process it in therapy once I see T again..
Your hugs are welcome
