It's not your fault, Hamster Girl. You have no control over your pain and emotional distress.

In my search to understand why I feel so worthless and depressed, I came across a book about people who are extreme sensitives. They are simply more affected by everything in their environment, and need lots of alone and quiet time to recuperate. Perhaps that's you. I(I'm pretty sure it's me.)

I don't think it's a big deal that you flinched when this kindly man touched you. Lots of people jump just because they are not expecting a touch or a voice at a particular time.

I think you are beautiful, and I feel privilleged that you have shared your heart with us with such honesty.

I hope that you will choose to continue with the forum, but if you don''t find it supportive, I undertstand.