I guess I could be more frank- this didn't work because when I tried doing this, even saying something akin to "this is the most sensitive way I know how to address this" and then trying to follow up and attempt to reduce someone giving themselves too much grief over the error,
I was reprimanded by staff. I felt pretty upset and embarrassed actually.

So, am I about to make any suggestions to any other members about anything at this point?

Absolutely not.
I don't really blame anyone else who is resistant to it either.
And then "reporting" doesn't really fix whatever the present situation happens to be, because people are trying to come into chat and have reasonable expectation of what they may encounter in each room. There is a delay on dealing with chat issues, so when they can't guess what might be talked about and are triggered, it is one more reason they feel upset just being on a support site.

I get that the moderators don't want to moderate the chat rooms. That is the set up of this particular site, though, not something that would be completely impossible anywhere, ever.

I mean, yes, members need to work to keep the board supportive as well. When the result of that is such a negative experience, why is anyone going to bother to try and do anything?

Just my point of view. I'm sure everyone else who might be dealing with emotional vulnerabilities, anxieties, difficulties with relationships [etc] finds it very easy to confront their peers and deal with conflict resulting from attempts to state ones own needs though, right?