My Support Forums - View Single Post - What's the worst part about being single? How do you cope being alone.

Ashima · 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shezbut

The worst part about being single?
~ I really miss the bond that we'd be together, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do we part.
~ Holding one another as we fall asleep, spooning...that physical & emotional closeness is what I miss dearly.

How do I cope with being alone?
~ Honestly... and shoot me if you must.. but, I avoid being alone. I am scared! He is all that I have emotionally and physically. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years, and I've recently recognized that he and I are just too different from one another to somehow make it work. Our relationship is also complicated by the children that I've had with my ex-hub.
~ Healthy tips that do help me become a stronger woman, individually, is keeping fit. I go to the YMCA regularly for work-outs. Also working p/t, to get some interaction with other people.
~ I am trying. But, it isn't an overnight change!

Thanks for your honesty.
I too cope with being alone by avoiding it. I was married 21 years and had two kids so I got quite used to having company, then at 50---all of them gone! Kids to school, husband onto a new life seeking a new partner.

So, I entered into a relationship with a man that seemed promising---but with children from our former marriages and being very different from one another---he wants to live alone, I want to live with him, we are just seeking something different. Because I've currently only have one friend and she lives on the west coast and I'm in the east, I just hang on because something is better than nothing.

I don't think being alone as much as I am is healthy. I'm a social animal, but at 55 I don't meet any women who want to form new friendships---most women my age seem to be married or with someone and that's their primary friend, or they have friends they've had for eons and don't need any more.

I have tried bookgroups, church, work, and other venues to meet people, but in a small town in a rural area, there just aren't many people around.

My long term plan to cope is to move to a big city. I'd be interested in hearing if anyone's done that and how it's working out.

But what I keenly need is support to leave my relationship---I've tried but I can't function having no one to talk with or be with. I get so anxious I can barely work, drive, eat, talk. I'm seeing a therapist to work on this, but he's working on this with me like a snail.

If I could find friends who'd be present for the first weeks trying to get along without the boyfriend, I think in the long run, I'd be less lonely and free to find someone else. But, that's not what I have.

So what do you do in my situation?

My coping tips (they are not all mentally sound--but they are just for coping):
Take long hot baths
Watch public television
Talk to my son
Write emails to my friend
Go to sleep early---sleep long as possible
Fill all the hours with as much work as you can take on
Read
Meditate
Organize