Feeling randomly optimistic today. And happpppyyyy. And dancing around to music. Considering I didn't want to get out of bed yesterday, today's going to be so much more productive.

Though, despite this, I do feel like I could cry at any moment. Such a strange feeling.

I don't want to crash. Whenever I feel a crash coming, I usually take drugs. Which messes me up more, and makes the crash a lot worse eventually, but I don't really care, at the time it feels incredible to be in control of being out of control.

I haven't been diagnosed with Bipolar, because I lock down when I go to appointments and won't talk. But I don't care. Labelling me won't stop what I am. I am a curse. Wrong. Twisted. I bring bad things to people. Verging on evil. But.

Today. I don't care.