Is that how you feel? I have dealt with depression since I was in grade 7, I am now 46. I have spent 4 years in the hospital. So many suicide attemps, and 2 days after I got out of the hospital after being in there for a year, my mom uses my medication and kills herself, I get to identify her body after being dead in a hot shack for 4 days. I have never attempted after that. I learned the receiving end of it. Now I have 2 kids, 19 and 15. Been married for 22 years and again so unhappy and all those thought running in my head, I don't want to put my kids through what I went through, but I have a unfeeling husband and kids that are so used to me doing everything to please them that they treat me like ****. I feel useless and unworthy to be here. but I keep trying. Don't give up, don't let them win. I have to bellieve that there is a reason for all of us, if you can't see it then let me help you see. Tell me your story.