Hi all,

I have a bit of a dilemma. I went back to T after a 2 month break and had an amazing session reconnecting and telling her how well I was doing. I am due to see her again next week but in the meantime I arranged a phone session last week as I was experiencing alot of anxiety. During the phonecall I felt dismissed by T. I felt that everything I was trying to tell her about the way I react to situations and panic about things she just said was normal and a normal part of life. The point is that my reactions are not normal. I have BPD and my husband is amazed at my anxiety and reactions to minor events. I feel like T always tries to normalize everything and it doesn't help. On top of that, my husband and I have been having problems for years and once when I was in crisis, I called T and she offered to speak to my husband to explain to him how I felt and how my thoughts work. He ended up crying down the phone and pretty much having a therapy session of his own (far longer than I spent on the phone to her) and T then came back to me and suggested I looked after my husband (I was in crisis at the time, self-harming, going out of my mind). I was slightly offended. Once since then I tried to talk to T about me and my husband's relationship and she was very strongly biased that I should stay with him and would be far worse off on my own and would possibly then target my anger towards my children (which I found highly offensive and told her was absolutely not the case. My children are everything to me and I treat them with respect and kindness and try to shield them from everything that goes on and that's most of the reason why I felt my husband and I should separate). I now feel I just cannot talk to her about this and it's a huge problem in my life. She is not open to discussing the possibility of my leaving him and seems to dismiss anything negative about him because he has stuck by me all these years through my illness. Am I not entitled to expect some things from my husband too? Can he not have his bad points too? It feels like just because I have BPD that I should be grateful for anyone being with me. I am so angry at T right now for dismissing my feelings on the phone and for the fact that I can't talk about my relationship problems. I feel like cancelling my appointment or emailing her to tell her I cannot talk about my real issues at the moment because I think she is biased...sorry this is so long...any thoughts would be very welcome! Thanks.