Hi everyone, I'm feeling really down right now. I'm resentful of my situation, and everything that has led to it, I feel like I'm in a black pit of no return. As such, all m further interactions have become sloppy, and hollow, and I fear my negative attitude will only reap further sorrow, and not bring about positive change and solutions.

Believe it or not, my biggest regret by far is a girl, which I guess isn't really that big of a deal, but it's bothering me endlessly every day. I loved her with all my heart, and now I'm not quite sure how I feel about her, after a year has passed since I even saw her. I just feel this ongoing sense of pure emptiness, what I had loved with every fiber of my being was just a time based illusion, and I'm left with my crushing thoughts of whether what I know is even real anymore.

Worse is not the fact that I lost her and have to cope but the idea that I might have been able to have done things differently. If I didn't stand her up like a complete idiot this one time, when I was young and naive...maybe I could have done things differently while the feelings were fresh, before she moved on with her life and got a new boyfriend. It makes me think I passed up on the love opportunity of a lifetime.

The only reassuring thing is that this was fated to happen, I was fated to be naive.....I no longer believe in free will, because if I had the power to have known this would happen....I would change everything.

Not a single other aspect in my life is good either. I'm alone, and unemployed, with no sense of purpose- I picked the wrong college major, which I realized I was suckered into, instead of following either a passion or a practical path. I'm an artist, and I have no sense of how to profit from that. Some girls might love you for your money....but I'm just alone in every sense of the word- and because of that I struggle to open up my once warm heart. I fear the worst is yet to come if I don't snap out of this- but I feel worthless :/.

I'm swimming in a sea of regret right now, and this just keeps snowballing and is making everything in my life worse.