Awe, I can relate. It's very important to maintain balance in trauma work- alternating between intense, wrenching, agitating sessions, and more manageable, lighter ones to normalize your feelings and the relationship, so I would hope that might help you feel better. Trauma is all about being out of control. But now, in therapy, you have the control, so you can take breaks, go at your pace, call the shots, and at the same time, trust your therapist to be honest with you about wanting to be there and not minding your disclosures or non-disclosures when you struggle. You're NOT a waste of her time!

I'm in your pocket. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I want you to know that the shame you feel is not unusual for trauma survivors, and I understand the "less than human feeling", also. However, what happened to us was less than human, and the shame belongs to the abusers. I decided long ago that the reason I was abused is because there was a goodness and innocence about me, and the abusers wanted to destroy that. Once I gave up shaming myself and feeling worthless because I had been a victim, I took back my power as a worthwhile human being, who could hopefully help others to heal, also. I am glad you are able to post here.

I am sure your therapist does not feel as though you are complaining, or wasting her time. Most therapists consider it a privilege to be entrusted with their clients' stories. If she weren't like that, you'd have figured it out by now, and you wouldn't like her. Now is not the time to take a break from therapy, but I agree with Leah that it's important to have a balance, and it's a good idea to ask for a lighter session. Maybe you can share your post with your T, so she can better understand what you're going through.

You are not going nuts, you are starting to heal. It is a difficult process, but I believe you are strong enough to continue to heal. I hope you keep reaching out, and I also hope you keep receiving support.