Thank you for sharing the post.

I guess I'll have to share more how about I feel.

I don't seem to be interested in real sex, at all.

I have no idea why I feel guilt or shame, I wouldn't look down on anyone else if they admitted they pleasure themselves. It's the reputation I've developed, and the image I have to the people that know me. They all know me as a i nice, innocent guy, and my fantasies can be far from innocent. That's where my guilt starts, I feel like I'm hiding a horrible secret, even though I know it's not horrible. I fantasize about gay stuff, and I used to feel horrible about it, BEFORE, not these days, I realize I can't help it, I'm ok with it myself, but i wonder how people around me would feel about me if they knew. Why do they even need to know? but then I worry about these things like they should.

I don't want to stop pleasuring myself, but I just want to do it less often, you see, if I don't show up at work or college or an appointment or whatever, because I masturbated, It's simply not a good enough reason. I must also say, I feel unclean after I do, and I refuse to do anything else until I take a shower.