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Originally Posted by Almeera
You shouldn't feel bad about missing him, it's only natural to feel this way after a breakup!  |
I agree to a certain point that this is natural. To miss him is normal and natural and people go through a grieving process after breakups. the problem isn't with missing him and having feelings it's about ruminating and feeding an obsession. At this point, it's true you can't stop having feelings, feeling pain and hurt from it still, but you can and must deal with the obsessive part of you that's clinging to something that is over and done. The part that's hard for you is that it wasn't your doing, nor your choice. But still, you have to get to a place where you can say "yeah it hurt, no it's not my fault, but this is what it is."
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Something I've found is that the more I try to stop myself from thinking about something, the more I actually think about it; so it might be better to just let these feelings run their course. In doing so, you'll become less and less attached to them. You could even try a simple form of meditation to make it easier to become detached - which will happen, eventually.
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I'm not sure how you mean but I think the distinction should be made between letting the feelings run their course and feeding the obsession. Have the feelings, accept them, and let them go. Dont' ruminate or obsess over what was lost and cannot be any more.
On a separate note, to address your OP, I would say get rid of your alternate account(s). It's a temptation and it's deceitful. I know that's harsh to say but you've been blocked for a reason and even though I cannot say whether you deserve it or not, he deserves his privacy and your sneaking around to see him is very "stalkerish" behavior and it's really NEVER going to do anything good for either you or him. At best it's going to feed your obsession and drag this out longer, and at worst, he will discover you and it will make for an even more difficult exchange and relationship than you can imagine. Use your real account only and delete the fake one. period.
Keep doing what you're doing. I know you've come a ways from this and I commend you for it. I know it's hard, but keep fighting the obsessive nature in you and keep working on you, be independent, do your sports, and activities and more and more you will start to enjoy life again and stand on your own. You're not doing that part wrong at all, it just takes time for it to affect you fully.
My heart goes out to you. *many hugs* Hang in there.
~S4