my appoint ment went well. the pdoc and T decided to increase my risperidone shot to 25mg weekly and i get it tomorrw. they did a genetic test on me and it was interesting. T is caling me at 9pm to help me take my meds but the voices are telling me to lie to him about it. i think im just gonna tell him waht they are saying. my genetic test said that my liver breaks down the risperdal pills too fast which shows why sometimes they dnt work and why the injection is better for me. today was ok. im feeling better than i was last night. but the voices are still here.hopefully they will leave tomorrow when i get my shotbut it takes a while for the shot to kick in fully. we'll see. im so glad my T is supportive and helps me. he is the best T i have ever had and i value him a lot.

Well, Bean is in hospital.
All the staff said hello and welcome back. Once there she felt relief. Its really the only place she can be herself around kids like herself and get a break.

Cognitive test tomorrow.

I got the highest math grade on my test yesterday and overall I have a 89 in the class; I'm so happy my hard work paid off.

Also, I had a phone interview for the position I want and I'm having a in person interview soon

I'm wide awake. I only slept 4 hours that night before. Last night I slept like 3. I think mania may be on its way. Idk, but I am worried though bc I don't know what else they could give me for sleep. I already take so many meds for it. My eyes hurt but I just can't sleep.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I got out of the paranoia a little. My son is home for a couple weeks. It's good to have him home. I missed him. Today I have to get groceries and pay rent. I'm really late with rent, I talked to my landlord though and they are just gonna charge me one late fee. Oh this sucks not sleeping...

I'm shifting upward. I shift fast, see. I am super mixed usualy 1-2 days, then I go either up or down. I'm like... a yo-yo. Go up, spin at the top (mixed,) go down, spin at the bottom (mixed.) Up and down up and down. Never stoping except to be mixed.... It's dumb....

Hopefully I'm not too far up so I can actually get some work done today.

Still mixed, but it's not as bad as it has been. I think it's starting to pass. I hope so, it's driving me crazier.

I'm feeling a bit less depressed today. Woke with a slight headache though but am hoping it goes away soon. My girls want to go to breakfast. Today is the last day of Spring Break! Boo hoo! It didn't last long enough! I've still got the weekend though.

meeting T in an hour. got my shot today. voices arent gone yet. they are bothering me

i miss Bean.