Roll Call 19

Good morning, AD!

How are you today? is your mixed state going away? I hope so.

I'm shifting upward. I shift fast, see. I am super mixed usualy 1-2 days, then I go either up or down. I'm like... a yo-yo. Go up, spin at the top (mixed,) go down, spin at the bottom (mixed.) Up and down up and down. Never stoping except to be mixed.... It's dumb....

Hopefully I'm not too far up so I can actually get some work done today.

Still mixed, but it's not as bad as it has been. I think it's starting to pass. I hope so, it's driving me crazier.

Wow, that seriously sucks.

Yes. My cycle is 3-7 days continuous. It's exhausting...

I'm glad it's starting to pass. You'll get through it. You may not realize it but you're super strong.

yea i went back to sleep sorry. im awake now. i feel pretty alert. too alert. i hope this doesnt turn into anxiety or paranoia. seriously.

Good morning Roll Call family! I'm feeling a bit less depressed today. Woke with a slight headache though but am hoping it goes away soon. My girls want to go to breakfast. Today is the last day of Spring Break! Boo hoo! It didn't last long enough! I've still got the weekend though. Anyways, I hope everyone has a really good day

i got a headache too now. sucks. so much for being on alert today its turning into anxiety and paranoia. i shouldve realized.

So sorry Newtus! I hope you'll feel better soon. I'm drinking a coke right now hoping the caffeine will help. I'll probably take some more migraine medicine soon. I think this is a lingering headache that keeps trying to turn into a bad migraine. It's been bothering me for a couple of days. Really sucks!

migraines are so bad. i throw up on migraines. and shake and all. im having two drinks. red bull and water on the side. its not making me feel better. i wonder if i need more sleep.

hey all, sorry everyone seems to be struggling lately....

When my migraine gets really bad I throw up too! Any light or sound hurts! Thank God it hasn't got that far yet. Yesterday I was full of anxiety and very shaky. So far I'm not like that today. But I've only been awake for an hour and a half. I'm not even up out of bed yet. I'm about to go take a shower and see if that helps.

Hey Punky! Selling your house and moving is a big decision. You said you have family there....are they healthy family that would be good for Bean to be around?

Im originally from Massachusetts.
they all moved down to sc a few years back and my nieces are grown with babies and my 2 best friends are there too. we are all very close. I have no family up here and I think for my mental health it would be better to be with them and Bean would have family to visit instead of staying with us all day long everyday.
Yes, very healthy. They have been trying to get me to move for years but I like my mountains and have always lived in mountains so it would be a big decision.
Her pdoc would be in Anderson sc and hospitalization would be in Colombia. But family to help us would be very therapeutic.
Not blood family but we all grew up together from birth and raised our children together for 13 years.
I am alone up here. It makes it unbearable at times.

Bean would benefit tremendously being around family and little cousins to "babysit" and help out with.

I'm sorry you have such a headache both Cracking and Newtus. Oddly, I also have a headach, but small. Just an annoying buzz.

Newtus: it sucks you have paranoia instead of just to be alrt. I hope this starts to turn around for you.

Cracking: Vacation is never long enough. I think the last week in March is srping greak for us. I can't wait. One week of not having to wake up the grumpy guss for school. LOL.

Punky: moving is a big move. Make sure you take time in considering it. I agree, I hope your family is a supportive one if you decide to go.

Last night I had the weirdest dream I've had in a long time. I had a dream that I was a man. A very nice looking man, actually. A Latino man with an accent... (I don't speak Spanish even, LOL.) And, very sure of myself. And I was dating this really cute and friendly little blond girl. She was a sweet girl, reminds me of an actress that I can't remember her name right now.... Anyway, she was very nice and bubbly but also a total ditz and totally in love with me, but I was just luke warm for her.... And we were riding a farris wheel in a big giant city that reminds me of Tokyo (They do have a farris wheel there...) And she was going on and on about something and I said something to her and ended it with "My love" and she got all giggly. Poor dear. The dream was actually boring. But, the weirdest part was, I was aware that I'm not always a man, and my normal body was somewhere else. I kept having thoughts like when I hug her like "It's weird to hug as a man, I'm used to being the short one. Where do I put my head?"

And.... it's not the first time I dreamed I was a man. About 11 years ago I dreamed I was a man, a black man who was kind of a dork and not liked by co-workers... and it was like the early 1980s. Some people tell me that dream (which was 100% realistic,) may be a passed life, but I was already born in 1980.

Punky: It sounds like a move would be best for all of you! I say go for it! You can always come back and visit the mountains. Family is very important.

Im terrified of change! Lol.
My safety zone!
But yea. We have been thinking on it for over a year. My families church down there Is helping us get all the info for a pdoc etc.
Its just scary.

Sent from my SCH-S720C using Tapatalk 2

Punky: I totally understand! I HATE change too! I'm suppose to move this summer but am very scared of doing so.

meeting T in an hour. got my shot today. voices arent gone yet. they are bothering me

i miss Bean.

Punky junk

i miss bean too punky and i dont even know her

i went grocery shopping. im back. i was so on alert but i felt good. i feel slightly paranoid cause theres this red truck driving back and forth in front of my house and i keep thinking its the cops or someone who wants to kill me.

Newtus! Maybe the red truck is just looking for someone's house.

last time a car did that was thursday. they were going back and forth and then they pulled into our house and i thought it was a private inveestigator. he talked to us about dish and directv and wrote down some things about us. i was SO PARaNOID. he said he was a salesmen for it. i dont believe it. i think he was spying on us. my dad and i. im a targeted individual and get spied on frequently.