It's awesome when they get you, isn't it?

My session last Wednesday dealt a lot with whether my therapist likes me. I had no reason to think he doesn't, and had quite a bit of reason to feel secure that he does like me, but I still had to ask. I know the fear that he doesn't like me is rooted in my stuff, but telling myself that wasn't enough. It was a really valuable session - he was happy that I had asked, said that he does like me, he likes working with me, and he enjoys that it always feels like we are working in session. That was warming and good to hear, and reaffirmed my growing security in the working relationship we've spent nearly six months building.

I think more valuable to the process of therapy, at least for me, was that I asked and we were able to talk about it. I've been really open about transference issues when they come up, wobbles in trust and attachment, I'm comfortable disagreeing with him, but the vulnerability of looking at him and asking, "Do you like me?" was really hard. I struggle with being able to open up for a lot of reasons, but fear of judgment from someone whose opinion means the world to me is definitely one of those reasons. I'm happy I asked, I feel a little proud that I asked, and it also opened the door to me being able to discuss other things, like whether my T would tell me if something I did annoyed or upset him if he thought it might be something that happened in my relationships outside, which was a bit scary. (He would.)