I can't comment on the Christian aspect as I respect your beliefs and ideas about how to live a good life. However, I find it sad that this relationship with the new guy, which to all intents and purposes sounds very healthy and happy, would be frowned upon when viewed through the Christian frame. The remark about recreating your abuse sounds amazingly crass to my ears, but again, our world views are very different. I believe consensual sex, where you are an enthusiastic participant, is very healthy (and essential for contentment across the span of an adult life, for most of us) and that pleasure is good for you.