Thanks I did take a break and watched a dancing cockatoo on youtube for a bit I'm now into the cbt portion of the book but even using the techniques I'm not sure I see things differently. I still feel I'm right about the situation but wonder if she may be incapable of doing what I'm asking in which case accommodations should be made so she doesn't ruin things for everyone else...still my gut reaction is why should she work for us at all? Certainly it's very little effort to note items that are running out and write it on an order sheet...it makes me wonder if she is competent to run experiments reproducibly if she can't remember small details. I have to admit I'm a little less angry after writing this out and find that instead I am concerned she may be inept at her job. Maybe I should look for a book on better management skills instead of anger because I think my anger was alerting me to a genuine problem in this case. Alternately I'm wondering about mindfulness meditation...it's supposed to make it so you can think even when you have strong emotions like fight vs flight...