Thanks for the reply. No, he doesn't want to talk to a therapist either. He doesn't believe there is a problem. The other time I left we were only gone for an hour before he called me from the doctor's office & agreed to go back on the meds.
I am afraid to leave b/c he has threatened me with calling the police and having me arrested for ???? - who knows what??? - something he makes up in his head, I guess. Then he says he will try to take our child away from me & put him up for adoption, because he doesn't want to take care of him. It's all so crazy. My two older boys have somewhere safe to go in that kind of situation, but the youngest does not. I don't want to see him dragged through the mud.
He is not home much of the time and when he is, he is often sleeping (up to 18 hours per 24 hour period), or outside in his shed, or music room, so it is only difficult when he is awake and in the house. It's so peaceful when he's not at home.
He is in such a childish state that my oldest son (15) has taken a fatherly role with the others. This is slightly weird, but I don't know if I should do anything about it or not. Older children helping with the younger children is not unheard of, after all.
I am mentally detached from him enough that I am not "in love" with him, I just feel the kind of love you would feel for a sick family member. Because he is not around the children much, I feel like he would cause them more harm if I tried to leave. It is so hard to know, but I am planning and actively working towards my and my family's "escape" plan (if necessary).