Quote:
Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl
The bit that keeps coming back to haunt me is her telling me forcefully about how my unconscious always is determined to be too much so it drives my behaviour to be too much. Surely that means she actually did find me too much all along, even though I kept asking if I was and she kept saying no. I don't get it. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the thrust of her argument because last week she said I was projecting all over the place. But if she did thinkI was too much I am really resentful - what if I was too harsh on my mother, all because I started to believe I was justified in my pain? Same with my best friendI fell out with before Christmas. I was drawing a boundary, inspired by the validating of my feelings, but what if I was mistaken? What if I've lost two people I love from my life because of encouragement to tune into my stupid feelings?
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I can only speak to my experience, which was that I was too much for my mother, and it's something that has played out over a long period with my therapist. She is well aware of this dynamic and has said similar things to me, but with her, I am sure that she means to say I am *afraid* to be too much. She reassures me that I am not, though I push as hard as I can sometimes (not consciously, necessarily) to be too much. So.... perhaps your therapist also doesn't find you too much at all, but is just aware of the dynamic. Also, I think these things are absolutely magnified and much more intense in therapy than outside relationships, at least in my case, so.... it may not bear as heavily on your outside relationships either, may well not have been a case of you being too much at all!