Amelia, I have read many of your posts. They are just fine. I often am confused at those who correct you because I don't perceive a problem. I also think you fit in just fine with American ideas.

In the US, I have found that the Northeast is more direct than other parts of the country, where language and criticism are gentler and easier on one's feelings.

My T says that doing therapy is the constant interplay between "support" and "challenge." And the therapist must navigate the two, intuiting when which is needed.

In my personal life, I've always sought out those who would challenge me.
My worldview is that the world is not a cushy place full of pillows and soft blankets. The world is filled with sharp edges. It's ok to seek places of refuge, but all refuge all the time doesn't prepare us for the spikes.

With my children, I am constantly trying to find this balance between empathy and tough love.