Every time I see any sort of chicken I think of Costello

so i have bad voices right now. not bad really as in evil but more "bad" as in lots.

and it didnt help that i spent time with my mom today and she kept using every euphemism she could to tell me how fat i am. how my hips are pushing out of my jeans and how ill "never be skinny" again and laughing and rolling her eyes at me in laughter. every time i spend time with my mother its always SOMETHING. right now its about my weight. next time it could be her having some snide comment about how i dont have enough money and how im on disability. or some evil sh_t. but its always SOMETHING with her. ALWAYS and this is why i fight with her and im so GLAD her and my dad are divorced. she left my dad. and i feel for him but he knows how she is too and im glad shes gone another pathway. my dad and I dont need need that.

Yeah when I gained weight on meds my dad was complaining that my mom and I were watching the food channel all the time and we shouldn't be doing that if we wanted to lose weight. Then when we were out to eat he would comment on how I was eating more than usual. Even now he still does that and says I used to eat like bird...like I would never eat more than half a meal out before even if it was a salad but now I sometimes finish a meal. My BMI is fine I'm not overweight I didn't ask him for help so I wish he would just be quiet about it.. So yeah I have some idea how irritating that can be especially when you're not feeling great about it to start with...

it just pisses me off. but makes me want to cry even more. she said i looked stalky and frumpy and that i dress sloppy. and i f_king washed my hair and have been showering more. she sometimes say that i smell. or "you have an odor to you".

she seriously wants to make me cry.