I do accept responsibility for my own ways I failed him, of course I do.
Heck, after being raised by parents the way me and my brothers were and the years of being bullied in school, I could not take things anymore and began to lash out myself when I had had enough. I know this was very wrong of me to do. All I was looking for was acceptance and unconditional love for who I was. Ihave never found that in my life so far. Something was always just not good enough for everyone. It spiraled me downward, down, down, down....until I finally believed in the ,messages they were giving me. Unworthy, unloved, unaccepted. My mind finally snapped and I have never truly recovered nor do I think I really ever will. 40+ years of getting the ,message one is just not good enough, does its lasting damage. I'm exhausted and am ready to be free.

I am thrilled and happy that one of my brothers came out of our childhood so strong and happy. Sadly, my other brother and I just never recovered. God rest his sweet soul.

I finally got to the point to where I blocked things from my mind. It was the only defence I had left. Somethings were just too painful to think about. I also got to the point to where I would not show even emotion, because I suppose if I allowed those feelings to come to the surface, I would break in half.

I'm broken anyway, so I don't know why I still try to block things out.