Do you have a therapist or someone that you could talk to and tell them that you are feeling this way? That sounds like depression talking. Even if things are that bad for you right now, there must be something that is good too, but depression keeps you from seeing it. Maybe that is your partner, or maybe there is something else too. Please talk to someone who can help you to connect with what makes life worth living. Maybe something needs to change and somebody can help you to make it happen.