I used to do this, too. Eventually, on the most horrible day of my life, I acted upon it. Wish I could say it was a bad dream. Did not die, but went through the most horrible physical and mental suffering of my life.

Someone once said, You cannot prevent the birds from flying over your head, but you CAN keep them from building a nest in your hair.

This is basically what I do. Sui thoughts occasionally enter my mind. But, I do not dwell on them. As soon as they come, I let them right back out.