NOT suicidal but having thoughts...

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this but I'm not really sure where it fits....

I have a long history of SI, and so suicidal ideation is not new to me. Lately though, I have been feeling "ok" but am being consumed by thoughts of death. It's almost like I fantasize about it, how I would do it, etc. It's distressing not because I feel like I am going to act on these thoughts, but just because they are there. They make me anxious and less productive in my work and school.

Does anyone else experience this? I'm not sure what to do about these things...

Lately I have felt like it would be so nice just to go to the hospital and have them there to make sure that I don't do anything. Again, not that I think I would on my own anyhow, but it would make me less anxious about it.

And then I get paranoid that I'm just thinking these things for attention... not that anyone else other than me knows about these thoughts.

Sorry for the jumbled message.. any thoughts are appreciated.

Thanks,
Jacq

Does anyone else experience this? I do. If you feel better at the hospital try to.

I experience this, even more in the past week or so even though I would never SH or hurt myself. Last week I spent the whole day just thinking of ways to kill myself.

Oh dear

I feel the same way often.

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Even I used to have lots of suicidal thoughts but not enough courage to do it...still having the thoughts but the frequency has reduced... the reason being I came to realize that my suicidal tendencies are because of my feeling lonely and thats because of my feeling of being unlovable... and thats because i was not loved unconditionally during my childhood.... this realization soothed by nerves to a certain degree....

As you have put it... live need to be examined... so examine the reasons for your suicidal tendencies...

Yes. Daily.

I used to do this, too. Eventually, on the most horrible day of my life, I acted upon it. Wish I could say it was a bad dream. Did not die, but went through the most horrible physical and mental suffering of my life.

Someone once said, You cannot prevent the birds from flying over your head, but you CAN keep them from building a nest in your hair.

This is basically what I do. Sui thoughts occasionally enter my mind. But, I do not dwell on them. As soon as they come, I let them right back out.

Do not worry - I do not have a lot of hair left.



And I know what you mean..... I have been driving down the highway and started to climb out the sunroof..... not even thinking. It was all just surreal before I realized what I was doing and climbed back in and re-took control of the steering wheel.

I feel the same way. The past week or so I've wanted to go to the hospital just so I can be safe in case I feel the need to act on my thoughts. If it will help you then the hospital is honestly the best place for you to be right now.

Thanks all for your thoughts, and hugs to those who are feeling similarly.

I am feeling better now than I was at this point last week, though am scared for my Drs appt on Monday. I have to get my stitches out at that time and my T has since spoken with my Dr re: self-harm and suicidal ideation. I think they're both worried for me Oh well, at least everyone will be on the same page..

I'm glad you're better than last week. try not to worry about the appointment, they just want to help

Glad to hear you're doing better

I hope you are SAFE and doing better.

Your description of what you're going through sounds exactly like me. I deal with the same kinds of thoughts pretty much every day, some days/weeks worse than others. But like you, I can't see myself ever acting on them.