I think I am ready for meds. I am ready to talk to T about it all. I wrote it all down so I don't forget. T can't write script though so I have to go elsewhere. Was thinking about getting new T too. I'm done just doing a bit here and a bit there. I want it all out in the open with no chance to take it all back. I want to show T all the messed up stuff I wrote when I was a kid. I had dozens of suicide notes and even an apology letter from my mom telling me how she knows I had a crappy childhood.

To bad She doesn't know half of my hell cuz she didn't believe me and to this day denies everything. The only thing I don't want to happen is I don't want to stop painting. All my paintings are from suicidal nights.