From everything you have said, in my State at least, you would end up with primary residential custody, and he would have to pay you child support. You might have to pay him a bit of maintenance, but that might be balanced out by the child support he would owe you. In our State, you would get an adjustment for private school tuition as well. Have you consulted with a good divorce attorney about this? I recognize every State is different, but it seems unlikely that it would THAT different. My brother and sister in law are attorneys in your State, but they do corporate law. I could ask them for a referral to good a divorce attorney who could at least give you a consultation.