I ended up talking. but only said about half of what really happened. Then I felt so guilty, for giving in to the urge. after talking. Now I'm just getting by. I have an outline to do tonight, and I just don't want to do the work, yet I know my grade is affected by my choices. I also know that the sui thoughts don't make Any sense at all. and I know that, yet I have to be told that, which adds more frustration to the session today. I could go out and socialize but I don't want to, because of stress. then I'm asked about pain.... DUH it's all in my head. Life sucks.
So I had a concert last night. I had expected my sister to make the time for me, but she didn't, she forgot. And that's no longer a liable excuse. Each time it's I have to work, or I scheduled something else that is more important because it only happens that night. Or I'll go if family are in town. I'm tired of excuses. Instead I locked myself in my room to get away. Tonight, I'm tempted to go back on campus to do some homework at the library and do the social thing to night, to just get away from her. I can't handle that tonight. I just can't. But at the same time I want to watch Gray's Anatomy, and then just work on my outline, in my room to just clear out distractions.

So, now I'm a bit more relaxed. I think I can focus now.