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So I have been doing very well on my current meds. Much much better than in a very long time. And here I am on Easter surrounded by family and they are all happy happy. I am the black sheep of the family, always have been.
The thing is I never really get to happy. It has always been this way. Even at the very best that I have ever been in my life I get glimpses of happy. I am currently very calm, content, and even serene but not really happy. Very rarely so I feel joy or happy.
I learned a long time ago I had to be content with contentment. If content is all I ever get it will have to be good enough.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman
Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.
Male, 50
Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
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