Quote:
Originally Posted by zinco14532323
So I have been doing very well on my current meds. Much much better than in a very long time. And here I am on Easter surrounded by family and they are all happy happy. I am the black sheep of the family, always have been.
The thing is I never really get to happy. It has always been this way. Even at the very best that I have ever been in my life I get glimpses of happy. I am currently very calm, content, and even serene but not really happy. Very rarely so I feel joy or happy.
I learned a long time ago I had to be content with contentment. If content is all I ever get it will have to be good enough.
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I find this emotion fleeting these days as well. I think back to my youth and often I was called "mean old man" by some friends of mine. This was due to my analytical mindset and not wanting to ever do anything "stupid". I didn't get into making fun of other kids, throwing rocks through windows, lighting fires or anything along these lines.
I guess we have to take our happiness where we can. For me it is the moments I get back from working out at the gym or when the weather changes dramatically or learn something just utterly groundbreaking.