Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
That's how you feel *now*
If you quit therapy, that's how you will continue to feel.
Feelings change and ruptures can be resolved. You can't scale back today, but you'd be surprised how resilient a good therapy relationship can be, that you may be able to successfully rebuild the relationship and feel safe again. That's not a guarantee, but if you quit now, I don't think you're giving yourself a fair opportunity for for a reparative experience.
I want you to give yourself some time.
Good relationships gone sour can get good again.
That's something hard for me to accept too, but I have found it's true. That's what I'm not sure if you're considering right now, that potential.
It just looks like, from the outside, you've had a number of major concerns arise almost simultaneously, and your emotions are on high intensity and you're on high alert. Fight or flight, fight or flight.... but what if you did neither. What if you sat with these feelings and just observed them and told your therapist where you were emotionally in the relationship?
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Thank you Leah. You posit a good case, for sure
I know that I get impatient and hate sitting with crap, that I like to jump before I'm pushed (as I see it).
I think if I'm honest about how I really feel my therapist will be at best a bit more chilly in her dealings with me, and at worst will be borderline aggressive the way she was in our terrible session a while back. Scared of that. And in that session I wasn't in a place to 'stand up for myself', I was too stunned at this stranger in the room with me.
Now, if she went for the juglar I would be so hurt and mad but feel strong, so I would call her out (perhaps with a degree more venom than is necessary, because I have a hot temper - it takes a lot to make me lose it but when I do I really go for it!) and then she would be more aggressive back and it would all be hateful. That's what I'm most afraid of. Exchanging bitter, hurtful words. I have no delusions - I know she's trained to not be affected by anger so it'd be water off a duck's back. I don't want to upset
myself by intentionally wading into an aggressive space with another.