Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelGirl
You're right in that certain attachment styles helped us when we developed them, but the problem is that when we become free from abusive or dysfunctional relationships, we still tend to use those old default patterns, and they become hindrances to positive, healthy relationships. That's why it's important to know them and to know what is healthy in a normal, non-abusive/dysfunctional relationship.
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But this seems to argue that some of the attachment types in the model presented are inherently unhealthy or dysfunctional. I do not agree that that is necessarily the case. I am sure there are unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships of all four types, as well as healthy and functional ones. There are simply too many factors that are not taken into account in the model. I mean, I have been in a relationship for 20 years, and it's moved from "preoccupied" to "dismissive" according to this model. So clearly neither one of those two categories is necessarily dysfunctional.