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Originally Posted by Mastodon
But this seems to argue that some of the attachment types in the model presented are inherently unhealthy or dysfunctional. I do not agree that that is necessarily the case. I am sure there are unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships of all four types, as well as healthy and functional ones. There are simply too many factors that are not taken into account in the model. I mean, I have been in a relationship for 20 years, and it's moved from "preoccupied" to "dismissive" according to this model. So clearly neither one of those two categories is necessarily dysfunctional.
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I guess they look at what is "ideal" or "most conductive to emotional growth". People who have dismissive, preoccupied, or fearful styles tend to have higher rates of mental health problems and inter relational problems. They report more loneliness or fear surrounding their relationships. I assume some are okay with certain insecure patterns, though, as you seem to be. But I would wonder (I don't know you so I don't know if this is true for you), if someone is only comfortable with it because it's familiar and known, not because it's most healthy or makes them most happy.