I think another thing that's made a difference is that other people have begun reading my mind…not on a regular basis, but often enough that I don't feel safe unless I zone out or, in extreme cases, scramble my thoughts. I just remembered this…I stopped worrying about it all the time after I stopped being around those people.

So not only do I have to worry about opening up to people and having them hurt me, now I have to protect my inner thoughts from them as well. Which makes a difficult situation more impossible. It also explains why I shut my mind off essentially when around them.