My day was good today. I'm feeling pretty stable right now. I want to do what i can to stay well.

I still have some unhealthy behaviors, but for whatever reason i'm not ready to change. It's like i'm watching myself make bad decisions, but i can't seem to do anything to stop it. None of it makes me happy, it's just i'm not ready to give up all my chaos and just be a responsible person. It's more just the way i'm relating to people right now. I seem to need a lot of external validation, when i want to be more self sufficient. I need to set some boundaries with a couple of people, and then stick to those boundaries even when i'm feeling lonely or self destructive. The attention i'm getting now isn't good for my self esteem. Sorry to be so vague. I'm just processing, and i don't know how to talk about this stuff, even to my therapist.

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